Frightful Events at the Shilo Inn

Many of my thousands upon thousands of Blog Readers may not know this, but I used to be a Houseman at certain respectable hotel in Bend. For those of you that do not know (or call it something else) a houseman is a job that in the day goes around and takes the dirty towels and dishes and linens from hotel rooms and collects them for the laundry and all that. (Pretty much helping the housekeepers out so they don't have to carry all that junk back, they just focus on the new stuff and cleaning.) But that was not my job, for the most part. My job was the night houseman. I was the one who restocked the maids closets. I was the guy who took all of the washed linens that were hopefully, but not usually, folded and put them in a convenient location so the housekeepers would not have to lug all the new linens from the laundry room to their floor, they were already there, thanks to me. I was also the guy that tested the pool chemicals, and I was the guy that had the nifty walkie talkies (of which always seemed to be out of battery, BTW) and got calls from the Front Desk asking for me to take things to guests' rooms. I took all sorts of things, pillows, new linens, new towels if forgotten, extra creamer, fixed tvs (which weren't broken, people just didn't read the directions), fixed AC, all that stuff.
Anyways, so here is my story. So, I get a call asking if I would show a lady some vacant rooms so she can see which kind she might like for her friend that is going to be staying there. So, I get some room numbers, and I have the all-powerful key that works on pretty much any door, so I take her to a few rooms and I am walking her around and we come to one of the "Vacant" rooms and I open it and start to go in, and I notice that I am hearing things, and see some movement in the bed under the sheets and there are things on the floor. I start backing out quickly because, You guessed it, it was NOT Vacant. But hey, I am being quiet so maybe they won't hear me. Then the lady blurts out, is it not empty, and I say no, it is being used, and a guy yells from the room, Yeah, it is!
I was pretty upset I had to be in that situation, and what was worse was they were there doing the nasty business. Luckily, I was not far enough in to see anything but under sheets, but it was still VERY VERY embarrassing. I called the room number in again, and they got me another room to check, bit need-less to say, that couple that was intruded upon got their room free for the night.

Another "great" moment (Sarcastic BTW) of being a houseman, I was doing my duties, getting thing from the Laundry room to the Housekeepers closets one day, and I trudge past a room that has the windows open and guess who is standing in the middle of the room flipping through channels- a naked person. Now, I don't know why this person was flipping through the tv channels naked, and I don't know why this person thought it was a good idea to have the windows open all the way, especially since their room window was right in front of a major walkway, but they were. Something that I would rather not have seen.

So here is your tips from the former houseman-
#1- if you are planning to do the dirty deed in a hotel room, even if it is a door that locks right away and you have to have a key to open it, still take the extra precautions to double lock and deadbolt the door. You never know what hotel worker might be asked to open the door for someone because of a mistake at the front desk.
#2- even if you have a room that has a window that is more secluded, still take the extra time to close the window blinds if you are going to be prancing around in the nude, whether it is flipping through tv channels or just a quick exit of the bathroom to get your clothes after a shower. Just keep it in mind.

Those are the two lessons for the night. Who knows how these frightful events popped into my head currently, but it is never too late to warn friends, right?
PS- if you are any of those people I mentioned, that would be quite a coincidence that you read my blog. And I am sorry to the first couple, (the second person, it was your own fault)